My Reflections on
the
Awakening
As I look at them now, the
years 1998 through 2003 have been the hardest years of this transition I have
known in all my years working with the Light.
There
are a lot of stories that could be told. Many
people did not make through the first wave of the Changes.
Often times I found I was living in the manifesting of my own prophecy.
So, did I call it forth ….or did it call me forth?….Hmmm. I have
known reasons for a
lot of tears, and some good memories that will go with me as I enter the next
part of this initiation, that’s for certain.
I
have memories of ceremony and sacred times experienced in this short lifetime
that one usually only experiences once in many life times...
I have seen the
great Light Ships come and all those who were touched by their Light were
changed forever. I have seen things occur
in ceremony under the stars that cannot be explained… as angels touched the
earth with their wings, leaving me with first-hand knowing of the
otherworldly…Therefore I know it is all real, more real perhaps than the world of
mundane reality.
Most people I have come to
realize only know of life as they see it represented on their television
sets, or their short journeys through the Cyber Realities of the Internet.
We know that we are
merely passing through this illusion, only when we have touched the fabric of
the Dream by tasting the
waters from the river, and feeling the heat of the desert.
I have seen the forces of
darkness tear at those whom I loved, while they manifested their own outcomes
and destinies as some fell victim to the illusion/ Many of them suffered their dark nights of the soul.
Often I felt as if I were walking through a labyrinth of
dreams, trying to hold on to the sense of myself; while the reality around me shifted in the
rearranging of the paradigms that might compose truth.
What was happening one moment became a different scenario in the next.
It was as if life itself had moved into freeform expressionism.
In the end, as the dust settles, you count your losses and your gains and
once again come to realize that there is only GOD, and that this reality is only
an abstract landscape where you pass through one experience to the next. There
is no path only a sense of direction that you can follow. And if you persevere, you
can learn the wisdom that the only path to
follow is the one with Heart. Through each
experience we keep learning
to o pick ourselves up after bad experience, and keep walking through the grass. Tomorrow, is
just a short distance down the road.
Hence,
I returned to these desert
hills and have spent many months walking with the ancient spirits who also call
this place home. This I have done while emptying my Heart of the poison born of great pain. Then one
day, the Wind called to remind me I had an appointment with destiny.
I had to make a choice - live life or leave life.
It was not really a choice. I
choose Life.
Dreams change, and the Wolf
Lodge which I created with my Nakota Grandmother so many years ago, seems to
have taken on a life of its own. It remains today as the dream of a few survivors of the Heart…. Those
who stood by watching as I did … sometimes watching in horror, while the roar
of the Winds Of Change took their toll.
I
have seen Grandmothers and Grandfathers choose to take the long journey in numbers over the past few years.
We all must struggle a little harder now without their Light to help guide us
through the shadows and learn to rely a little more upon ourselves. "
It's not dark yet , but it's getting there," as Dylan phrased it
so well.
I have stood with the Hopi
Sinom, the Traditional Elders to whom I owe much for wisdom shared.
Together we have worked very hard to save their sacred lands from the hands of greed and corruption,
while I watched close to 33 people die, and others suffer psychic wounds from
which they are still healing after fighting the evil that is born of man and the
tyranny he creates. I watched as tears fell down the faces of my Hopi brothers
and sisters as
they too were mocked for their spirituality and childlike sensitivity… “It seems all
the children of Light cry at the same moment and are hit by the same
arrow...”,I found myself thinking. My
heart is heavy as I stand here in the silence watching, holding close the hands
of those whom I love.
I have watched as my
brothers, who were great chiefs of noble peoples, were deserted by their own
people because of the methodical breaking down of the Spirit of those people.
Executed by a system which has
no heart, and allows not for the survival of human feelings of any people; in its attempt to
control. I have watched as great
men were attacked and made mockeries of, simply for offering their Spiritual
ways in friendship and goodwill. All in an effort to end the separation that lies in the heart of
our humanity. In my lifetime I can
remember looking into the eyes of those who had actually seen the coming of covered wagons
to this land of the West. ...They have seen the passing of a way of life that
will never again be on this plane…
There
is a storm over this land. There is a
darkness that makes the nighttime pale in comparison, and its sword is FEAR. We
must return to the path with heart, or we stand to lose everything that has
brought us this far. The days that are
coming can be a time of jubilation or great sorrow.
It is all choice; you will be the one to make those choices and no one
will or can do it for you. Many of you
have lost touch with your hearts and no longer hear or trust you own voice
speaking to you because of that. So you put your faith in the fortunetellers,
and the jesters… anywhere but in yourself as a child of God.. I can hear the
howling of the wolves in the distance….Can you?
They tell me it is time.
I choose to hold my heart as
the shield against tyranny, and my will and as my sword.
These days I walk quietly
and leave no footsteps…..in
the silence, where I can hear the Mother talking about old times, and what we
will do in the future. She listens and
jokes as a good mother should while in dreamtime she reveals to me her plans to
rearrange the house in spring… “How fortunate,”… I think to myself
“…that I am privy to listen in on her secrets…” And I am grateful for
the few who stood in the Light through the changes; those who stepped out of the
shadows and had the courage to change for the better, despite the odds….those
who learned to Hold Sacred Ground, and still see the dream that is possible for
all of us…
Everyone has the right to begin
again. No one is damned upon this sacred
being we know as Terra, our Mother Earth.… Nothing you ever did was so
terrible that it cannot be undone, and made anew. Mankind asks constantly for forgiveness, and yet can offer it not
from their own hearts, and they wonder why they must now reap what they have
sown.
In closing I pray that we may
all have the wisdom to start over each day, holding within our hearts the
courage to Dream…. And may we come to know that what the Great Spirit has in
mind for us is JOY. Look around you, for the signs are all around us in nature
and the simple song of the bird.
We all have our dark night of
the soul but the dawning comes, it always comes, to remind us that it is time to move on...
and see life with new eyes!
In The
Light Grandfather Ghost Wolf
